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Patton's Troubleshooters Book                        Patton's Troubleshooters DVD

I am sitting here and thinking of the things I left behind, and I hate to put on paper what is running through my mind.  We've dug a million ditches, we've cleared a million miles of ground, and a meaner place this side of hell on earth will never be found, but there is some consolation, gather closely while I tell. When we die we'll go to Heaven, 'cause we've done our hitch in hell.

We've built a million kitchens for the cooks to stew our beans, we've stood a million guard mounts and cleaned the camp latrines.  The number of trees we've chopped is very hard to tell, but there'll be no trees in Heaven, for we've done our hitch in hell.

We've built a million bridges, we've walked through miles of mud, we've cleaned a million mess kits and peeled a million spuds, we've shoveled tons of gravel a million rocks we've lugged, but there'll be no rocks in Heaven for we've lugged our rocks in hell.   

We've killed a million bed bugs out our dirty our eats.  We've shook a million sheets.  Ah, the number of nights we've frozen as low the mercury fell, but we'll not freeze in Heaven for we've done our hitch in hell.

We've heard a million whistles blow from morn' till late at night, so we'd like to kill the dirty bums who took away our rights.  And the foremen we've had over us, how many we can't tell, but we'll bar them all from heaven 'till they've done their hitch in hell.

When the final call is sounded and we lay aside our cares, we'll do our big parade right up the golden stairs. The angels they will welcome us, their harps will start to play, and we'll draw a million canteen checks and spend them in a day.  It's then we'll hear St. Peter greet us loudly with his yell.  Take those front seats C.C.C. boys, you've done your hitch in hell.